Emotional intelligence 2.0: How to work with difficult people

Do you have a hard time getting along with your workmates? Do you feel that other people don’t understand you well? If so, you are not alone. Emotional intelligence 2.0 are the set of skills that will help you to manage your emotions and to better respond to the feelings of others at work and in life.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient (EQ) is the ability to be aware of and manage one’s emotions, both consciously and unconsciously. It includes the skills to perceive others’ emotions, understand why people feel the way they do, and use this understanding to develop better relationships.

Carnegie Institute of Technology conducted exciting research published in Forbes in 2012. “Intelligence is overrated” reported that “85% of your financial success is due to skills in “human engineering”, your personality and ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead. Only 15% is due to technical knowledge (IQ).”

What are the components of Emotional Intelligence 2.0? 

• Self-awareness: Recognizing your different emotions
• Empathy: Putting yourself in the shoes of others. Understanding how someone else feels can help you better manage difficult conversations and interactions.
• Self-regulation: Managing your feelings well, especially negative ones.
• Stress management: Controlling your stress levels
• Problem-solving
• Communication

What are the signs of low Emotional Intelligence?

Signs of low emotional Intelligence can include:

• Lack of empathy for the plights of others.
• Being insensitive to others’ feelings.
• Being unable to manage emotions effectively.
• Having a short temper.
• Reacting impulsively without first thinking things through.
• Not being able to work well with “difficult” people.

What are the benefits of developing Emotional Intelligence?

The benefits of emotional Intelligence include the following:

• Improved communication allows for smoother interactions with coworkers and superiors. You can manage difficult situations.
• Better teamwork results in fewer conflicts and faster decision-making – both of which are essential in today’s fast-paced world.
• Increased productivity means you can get more done in less time, leading to happier employees who are satisfied with their jobs.
• You can stay calm under pressure.

How can you develop emotional Intelligence?

We often struggle in relationships because we don’t know how to handle difficult people. If you can develop your emotional Intelligence, it will equip you to work well with difficult people. 

Here are four ways that emotional Intelligence can help you build better relationships:

1. Empathy

Being empathetic means putting yourself in another person’s shoes and understanding their feelings. That allows you to communicate more effectively with them, decreases conflictual interactions, and builds trust.

2. Self-awareness

When you’re self-aware, you know your key strengths and weaknesses. That allows for healthier communication because it eliminates misunderstandings before they happen. Additionally, it gives both parties a better idea of what compromises will be necessary during conflict resolution.

Three steps help you understand and manage your emotions: recognizing your feelings, giving your feelings a name, and taking the necessary actions.

3. Relationship Management

Effective relationship management involves setting boundaries without being judgmental or critical. It also requires listening attentively and taking action when needed. It would help if you were honest and authentic. Strong emotional intelligence skills equip you to manage your relationships at work and at home.

4. Resilience

Difficult people can challenge our beliefs, assumptions, values, and feelings about ourselves. However, with practice and emotional intelligence skills, we can develop resilience. That enables us to remain calm under pressure and handle challenging situations effectively.

What are some strategies for dealing with difficult people?

There are different strategies for dealing with difficult people and reducing conflicts in the workplace. Some of these include:

1. Avoid stereotyping others. For example, do not judge others as “difficult” based on their physical appearance, race or gender. Instead, allow others to prove themselves. 

2. Establish clear boundaries. Defining roles, expectations and what you cannot tolerate from others will reduce conflicts.  

3. Deal calmly and rationally with everyone, especially those who may disagree with you.

4. Understand that you are in control of your emotions. But you are not responsible for the way others feel. Therefore, you should not let others control your emotions.

5. Learn to accept negative feedback with grace. Don’t assume you are being personally attacked by those who give you negative feedback.

5. Effective communication and compromise when required will help you to avoid conflicts with others. 

Common mistakes to avoid in developing emotional Intelligence

Some common mistakes people make when developing emotional Intelligence include the following:

• Not paying enough attention to your emotions can lead you to ignore or suppress your feelings. That can negatively affect your mental health, well-being, and ability to think clearly.
• Not being aware of the feelings of others can make it difficult for you to understand them and connect with them. That can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings.
• Not understanding how emotions influence our thinking can cause poor decision-making, problem-solving, and creativity problems.

Summary

Emotional Intelligence is a skill that helps you understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the feelings of others. It can help you work better with difficult people and increase your chances of success at work. It also improves your communication and conflict-resolution skills. 

Common ways to develop emotional intelligence include:

• Better self-awareness
• Showing empathy for others
• Self-regulation of your negative feelings well
• Stress and anger management
• Improving your communications

How are you coping with your demanding work colleagues? Which of the strategies would you initiate today?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Please leave your comments below, or let’s continue the discussion on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or Linkedin.

Thanks for your time.