The five love languages you need for healthy marriages

Marriages thrive the best when partners try to understand each other well. The primary love languages are the preferred means of receiving love and affection. Speaking your partner’s love language will benefit your marriage immensely. It will fuel romantic love and reduce the chances of relational breakdown.

What are the five primary love languages?

Some of the specific primary love languages of couples include:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Receiving gifts
• Acts of service
• Physical touch, including sexual intimacy

Love languages are parts of the vital emotional needs in marriages.

Words of Affirmation

I like not only to be loved but to be told I am loved.

George Eliot

People with Words of Affirmation as their primary love language respond better to words than actions. That means that saying “I love you” or sending a heartfelt text message can make them feel more loved than a grand gesture like cooking dinner or buying flowers.

To make someone with Words of Affirmation feel loved, tell them rather than show them. Communicate often to keep your partner feeling cared for. Please keep it simple and say how you feel about your partner. Try to avoid criticism and other sabotaging behaviours. Instead, focus on positive reinforcement. Kind words can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and loved.

The love language of Quality Time

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seem too short.

Andre Maurois

Recreational companionship or quality time is essential to show your partner you care. You should save time for discussions, listen to what they say, and give your partner your undivided attention. Men should turn off the TV, lay the magazine down, look into their mate’s eyes, and listen and interact.

If you want to impress your wife, the next time she walks into the room while you are watching a sporting event, put the television on mute and don’t take your eyes off her as long as she’s in the room.

Receiving Gifts as a love language

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.

Paris Hilton

Giving and receiving gifts is another common love language. If your partner loves gifts, they appreciate thoughtful presents that show you understand them. So it’s not just about the donation itself but also its thoughtfulness.

To make sure your partner feels loved, you may want to invest in some lovely gift wrap so their presents are pretty and thoughtful. The presentation does matter to people who value gifts.

Please read this article for many gift ideas to express your love to your spouse.

Acts of Service

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

Martin Luther

Acts of Service are a form of love that make someone feel loved. They can be expressed in various ways and are the primary love language for some people. If your spouse’s primary love language is acts of service, expressing your love through acts of kindness will make them feel loved.

Some ways you can express Acts of Service to your spouse are by cooking dinner, grocery shopping, taking the dog for a walk, folding their laundry, or filling up their car with gasoline. It’s important to remember that quality is more important than quantity when it comes to Acts of Service. So even if you can’t do all of those things every day, doing one thing each day with intention and care will go a long way.

Physical Touch

Kiss: A contraction of the mouth due to an enlargement of the heart.

Anonymous

People who enjoy physical touch often feel the need to be held, hugged and kissed. When they are upset, they often feel reassured and comforted by touch. Contact in a relationship shouldn’t only be related to sex. We can use physical touch to show affection, appreciation, and love to our mates.

If your spouse’s love language is physical touch, they need to feel loved by you. Some ways to show love: Give lots of hugs, kisses, and sexual intimacy.

How do love languages work?

Love languages work this way. Say your spouse craves words of affirmation; instead, you shower them with gifts. That will not score many love points. In your mind, you will be puzzled about what you may be doing wrongly!

So, it is advisable to understand and speak your spouse’s primary love language. Doing so will make you become an irresistible wife or irresistible husband.

How to discover your spouse’s love language?

To identify your wife or husband’s primary love language, ask them the following three questions and pay attention to their answers.

1. How can I help you?
2. How can I make your life easier?
3. How can I be a better husband or wife?

Also, pay attention to the requests made by your partner. For example, we find that people usually request their love language.

Conclusion

Marital harmony can be measured by how well couples understand and meet each other’s love language. The five primary love languages comprise:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Receiving gifts
• Acts of service
• Physical touch, including sexual intimacy

Every effort to understand and speak your spouse’s primary love language is worthwhile. Doing that will ensure that your efforts yield the highest dividends.

What is your partner’s love language, and may you speak it?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Please leave your comments below, or let’s continue the discussion on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or Linkedin.

Thanks for your time.

Sources

• The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman
• His Needs Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (Fleming H. Revell: 2001) by Dr Willard Harley Jr.